I generally champion Los Angeles. I love living here. I have the most amazing job, incredible friends, and a sweet apartment in a great location. The weather is gorgeous. I love that I can find bizarro things to do here every weekend if I so choose. Every movie plays here, every concert comes here. There are a million restaurants to choose from in every single cuisine available on earth. After my extensive travels, I can say with confidence that maybe apart from London, there is no where in the world I would rather live.
That being said….
There are some things about Los Angeles that drive me up the wall. I was really thrown when I moved here because everyone is so into looking “cool”. I felt too intimidated to talk to anyone because everyone was doing their “cool pose” in their “cool outfits”. I soon realized that generally anyone I went up and talked to was really friendly and open, once you got past the frosty facade. This is something that bothered me, something I realized was based on my insecurities, and an issue that I have moved on from.
But the stereotypes of Los Angeles folk being flaky? SO FUCKING TRUE. It bugs me to no end. I am a very honest person, and have no ulterior motives when talking to friends. My cards are always out on the table where everyone can see them (sometimes to my detriment). When I tell someone I will be at an event they are having, or that I can help them with something, I mean it. If I say I will be there, I will be there. (Of course, there are legitimate excuses for any absence – sickness, etc.) But the frequency in which I am told that I will be seeing someone on a certain date or time and then getting a last-minute excuse or simply not hearing from them at all is staggering. And fucking annoying.
It makes me feel like I can’t count on anyone. Now whenever someone invites me somewhere, or offers to do me a favor, somewhere in the back of my head I’m thinking – yeah, sure, believe it when I see it – and I hate it. The funny thing about it is that the majority of the time the person offers up their help to me – I don’t ask for it. So I feel even doubly disappointed when they stiff me. I don’t want to become a distrustful person, or a cynic. And I don’t want to be friends with people who I can’t believe in, either. But this behavior is so par for the course here that I feel like I would have no friends left if I really stopped hanging out with everyone who did this.
Which is not to say all of my friends are assholes, of course.
I’m not writing this post about any one person or one specific event. I’m just fed up with this behavior and wish that people here in Los Angeles would be more sincere. Just tell me what you really think. If you don’t want to come to something I’ve invited you to, just tell me nicely you’ll see me next time. And why in heaven’s name would you offer me a favor that you have no intention of following up with? I just ask that if you want to be my friend that you treat me kindly, with honesty and respect. And that you’re punctual when meeting me. I don’t think these requests are outlandish – friends should always treat each other with kindness and respect.
But that’s a laugh, right? This is one of the things that I have to put up with in order to live in one of the best cities in the world, yeah? WHY? Where does this behavior stem from and is there a way to stop it?