I have been writing this blog for over 3 years now, and WordPress has a nifty little feature that allows you to see how people get to your blog. Most come from Twitter, but sometime people just Google random things that get them to me – John Waters, Cameron Crowe, New Beverly, Etc… and every single day, since I posted it, the highest rated post on my blog has been “100 Things I Don’t Like.” Yes, folks, every damn day, people are apparently searching Google for “Things I Don’t Like.” How the hell would Google know what you don’t like? Why the hell would anyone search for that? It boggles the mind. BUT, I thought I’d give in and write another list, just to keep those confused-Googlers happy. I will follow up with “100 More Things I Do Like” – but enjoy these for now, in no particular order, of course…
1. When my hair gets tangled in my necklace
2. People who give me crumpled up money at the box office
3. That all trailers look & sound exactly the same now
4. Blisters on the back of my heels from new shoes
5. Waiters who say “My name is X, and I’ll be taking care of you today”
6. When I toss and turn and can’t sleep, even though I’m exhausted
7. People who don’t tell me when I have a boogie in my nose
8. People who stress me out because they’re so stressed out
9. When my fingernail breaks so far up it bleeds
10. The smell of eggs
11. People who don’t floss and I can see the plaque build-up on their teeth
12. Super hero movies
13. The faces/noises guys make at the gym
14. Morning breath
15. People (men especially) who don’t keep their nose hair in check
16. Over attentive sales people – especially the ones who follow me around
17. Men in those awful rugged, athletic hiking sandals
18. Thinking about having to be on a diet and exercise for the rest of my life
19. Spam (Both kinds)
20. The recycling man who collects the wine bottles from the restaurant across the street from my house at 5:00am
21. The never ending construction in Los Angeles
22. Trolls (all kinds)
23. Cute boys who wear baggy pants so I can’t check out their butts
24. The Los Angeles Department of Transportation
25. My biological clock
26. Being choked by my seatbelt
27. Couples that argue in public
28. Mindless action films
29. Corporate/strip mall/cookie cutter America
30. Being hungry late at night when its too late to eat
31. People who make promises they don’t keep
32. Toothpaste crust
33. People who talk so quietly you can never hear what they say
34. Girls who pee on public toilet seats
35. Jorts
36. Lumpy pudding
37. Dirty feet
38. War/medical gore
39. Doctor/lawyer/police procedurals
40. Hearing someone hawk a loogie
41. Sweating under my bangs
42. Talking/listening to people talk about going to the bathroom
43. Days when you wake up and just want the day to be over
44. The corners of my house that I can never seem to get clean
45. The feeling I get after working out – like my teeth have fuzz on them
46. The term “eating clean”
47. Walking through a cobweb
48. Stretch marks
49. When I bite into something I’ve microwaved and it’s cold in the middle
50. The word “dude”
51. Alcohol
52. Coffee
53. Being scanned at the airport
54. Nubby carpet
55. When I am excited to eat and very hungry and the food is subpar
56. Oil spill sunglasses
57. The feeling on my hands after I reach into a bag of raisins
58. People who talk on their phone when they come up to the box office
59. Being pigeon holed
60. Baggy slacks with pleats in the front
61. Grown-ups who still act like they’re in junior high
62. The music from Seinfeld
63. Beavis and Butthead impressions
64. Books that disappoint
65. Ayn Rand
66. How expensive make-up is
67. Dirty carpet
68. Unexplainable pain
69. Christopher Guest films
70. New horror films
71. Christopher Walken
72. Bruce Willis
73. Clutter
74. When my water tastes weird
75. Toe cleavage
76. The sound of a dry razor going over a man’s stubbly face
77. People who ask for a “dark chocolate Mounds”
78. Irvine
79. Realizing that I missed the age bracket to be the star of a teen movie
80. Worrying about the future
81. The fashion industry
82. Being forced to listen to Christmas carols two months before Christmas
83. People with dead shark eyes
84. comb-overs
85. 90’s action stars
86. All the dwarf songs in the Hobbit
87. Motorcycles with engines so loud they hurt my ears
88. Feeling fat
89. Awards shows
90. Futuristic neon hideous tennis shoes
91. Public showers
92. Losing touch with friends
93. Small talk
94. Bald men with fat rolls on the backs of their necks
95. David Cronenberg
96. Jennifer Love Hewitt
97. Disappointing the people I love
98. People who are too cool to dance
99. Feeling left out
100. People who google “things I don’t like”